The grand old Duke of York, what an indecisive bastard. Not like me, I’m mega decisive. How decisive exactly? Well, take this for example:
My lady wife spent her 30th birthday in Lockdown uno, and her 31st in lockdown tres, so I DECIDED to take her away for the weekend once we were vacc’ed up to our tits.
We all know a good weekend consists of three things: great food, Vikings and being surrounded by locals who like shoehorning in where they’re from and what sort of tea they like drinking into every utterance.
When checking in to the hotel (The Grand if you’re asking, it was alright if you’re wanting a review) the bloke behind the desk asked if we had anywhere booked for dinner. After heartily chuckling in his face for a good few minutes, I informed him I had the Rattle Owl, Roots and Skosh booked for the next few days.
“Oh, wow, the holy trinity,” he responded.
“You wouldn’t expect anything else from the FoodieBoys would you?” I replied.
“Shut up and give me our key.”
It’s only fair to acknowledge that I’m writing this a month after the weekend occurred, so I’m probably not going to be in a great place to wax lyrical about every garnish on every dish. To be fair I’m not always capable of doing that the day after eating somewhere because of booze. However, my lady wife is pregnant which means I’m no longer menstruating, and she is off the wine. In solidarity, I only had some drinks during meals, rather than loads – which means I can remember what they were like! A food blogging masterclass awaits.
Have you ever rattled an owl before? It’s easy, call them a big-eyed, mouse munching freak. This Rattle Owl, however, is a cute little restaurant. Downstairs do an à la carte, upstairs a tasting menu. With a tasting menu booked for the following night, we went with the former.
My starter of Kohlrabi, quark, lettuce, chocolate and fennel sorbet was one of the most interesting plates of food I’ve had in a long time. You think it was shite don’t you? Because I said ‘interesting’, shame on you, it was wonderful. Have a photo.
The coco nibs worked really well, my only criticism was the lavosh cracker had waaaay too much salt on it, and I fucking love salt.
MAIN: Mutton. There was loin, crispy neck, faggot. The faggot was the highlight, sticky and rich and offaly and delicious.
SIDE: Cabbage, crispy anchovies and old winchester.
That’s not a very good photo is it? Too close, too much spoon. Way too much spoon, be fine if I was a cutlery blogger, but I’m not. Crispy anchovies though, yeah? Concentrate on those and be grateful.
Dessert: raspberry and lemon verbena tart.
A better photo here, tart and refreshing.
This was a genuinely memorable meal, and if I should find myself back in York I’d be bang up for having a go on their tasting menu.
In an act of utter bastadry, I’m going to write up the other two meals separately, because it’s Sunday night and I want to go to bed and frankly I don’t owe you people anything.