There are four of them again! Hooray! Here comes the slow motion walk to the studio, and these are the headlines: • Jahdre got 3 hours sleep. • Joe thinks he can go all the way. • Luke is nervous. Again, imagine not getting chosen to do that bit because what you said was duller … Continue reading Masterchef the Professionals: Series 13 episode 8

I feel sorry for the three blokes who took part in this episode, not just because for large parts of it they weren’t very good, but because everyone watching was more interested in what happened to the fourth contestant who was subsequently edited out. The start of the show told us: ‘this programme had been … Continue reading Masterchef the Professionals: Series 13 episode 7

Here we go again. Jabari, Ash, Ross all get an intro bit tonight as they do their slow motion walk to the studio, wonder who the fourth is and how boring what they said must have been? Monica wants them to trim some lamb, she is sick of Wareing White Walker (WWW) getting all the … Continue reading Masterchef the Professionals: Series 13 episode 5

Yes! GregGbot 2000 is back, he’s been plugged in to charge and he’s ready to pull his faces again, it’s also good for me as I now have something to write about. No female contestants tonight, which I think sets the horrid tone for this episode. First skills test, Marcus wants them to chop up … Continue reading Masterchef the Professionals: Series 13 episode 4

How is it possibly the quarter finals already? One of these people has made it this far having only proved he can make custard. I made strawberry Angel Delight tonight and you don’t see me being jerked off by William Sitwell as a result. No GregG at this stage of the competition, not needed, his … Continue reading Masterchef the Professionals: Series 13 episode 3

That’s right, I’ve decided to start writing reviews of episodes of Masterchef. That’s also right, I’m starting at episode two as the idea only came to me during episode two and I’ll be damned if I’m watching episode one again. Four contestants tonight, Victor, Michaela, Dave and Harrison. First up the skills test. Wareing, who … Continue reading Masterchef the Professionals: Series 13 episode 2

Look, we've discussed face masks until we're blue in the face... (See what I did there? More often than not people are wearing those blue face masks. It is indeed a strong start.) ...the argument seems to sit pretty squarly on whether you believe: A) They are used to prevent you firing globules of infected … Continue reading We need to talk about hand sanitiser

Some of you may be surprised by the number of pizza restaurants rising up in Birmingham recently - research suggests we can expect no fewer than four dough flinging outlets per person in the city centre by 2020, quite the prospect. Of course, anyone with an even reasonable grasp of history won't be surprised by … Continue reading A History of Pizza Eating in Birmingham and Where to Eat it Now

Any romantic worth their weight in jizz knows that Birmingham is one of the most romantic cities in the world. Don't believe me? Then read this: Birmingham Is The Most Romantic City In The World And People Are There For It. Why is it so romantic? Well, not a lot of people know - but … Continue reading Where to spend Valentine’s Day in Birmingham