Review: La Trompette

Music and food is a match made in heaven, one of my favourite past times involves settling down in front of the Mini Disc player, blasting out some tunes and chowing down on some good nosh. Here are a few of my favourite combinations:

  • Take That with Squid
  • Bon Jovi with Asparagus
  • Taylor Swift with Ham

Try it, you might just like it.

One type of music I’ve never eaten food to is the trumpet. There’s something about someone dribbling spittle down a brass instrument that just turns my stomach.

Fortunately there wasn’t a trumpet in sight at Chiswick’s ‘La Trompette‘. It’s only fair to mention here that I’ve dined at this Michelin star establishment before because as a foodie it’s imperative for me to eat in places that others simply can’t afford.

To the La Trompette menu


Quite the feast I think you’ll agree. What do you think I picked? Go on, have a guess. No, don’t think about what you’d have – this isn’t about you. What would I have?

Correct, I had the Bresaola to start.

“I’ll have the Bresaola, please.” I said confidently in an Italian accent.

“Excellent choice, sir”

“It is?”


“What is it?”

I can inform you that it’s air-dried, salted beef. This one had been hung in their wine cellar. Which you could certainly tell by the taste, that’s a lie, it could have been hung anywhere (within reason). But it was good, the spiky artichoke (artichokes are currently in season – KNOWLEDGE) weren’t that spiky, I tried to attack the sommelier with it and he hardly noticed.


For my main I had the fallow dear, mainly because I wanted to say “Spätzle”. Go on, give it a try, shout it at the person next to you – especially if you’re on public transport.

“Before the invention and use of mechanical devices to make these noodles, they were shaped by hand or with a spoon and the results resembled Spatzen (plural of Spatz, meaning sparrows, sparrow is Spatz or Sperling in German; Spätzle is the diminutive of Spatz, unchanged in plural).” Spätzle Wikipedia page

“You can probably guess what I’d like for my main.” I said to the waiter.

“I’m not sure.”

“I’m the man behind Seagulls and Sausages…”


“So, I’ll have the deer with the little sparrows, please. This is basically a research trip for me.” I told my dining partner.

So, what did I think of the deer? It was fantastic and far better than this rubbish photo suggests.

Fallow deer

Dessert – obviously I had the soufflé as it was the fanciest sounding one.

The word soufflé is the past participle of the French verb souffler which means “to breathe” or “to puff”.

Which is why I only eat soufflé while listening to P.Diddy /  Sean Combs / Diddy. The good people of Chiswick thoroughly enjoyed my rendition of ‘I’ll Be Missing You’ while I stuffed  banana flavoured baked egg in my face.


Four and a half boys out of five. Congratulations.

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