Where to spend Valentine’s Day in Birmingham

Any romantic worth their weight in jizz knows that Birmingham is one of the most romantic cities in the world. Don’t believe me? Then read this: Birmingham Is The Most Romantic City In The World And People Are There For It.

Why is it so romantic? Well, not a lot of people know – but Birmingham actually has more canals than Venice. That’s right, and what’s more romantic than a canal? Nothing.

Once you’ve shown your loved ones the canal, pushed a shopping trolley in and shouted at some geese together you’ll be looking to cap the night off with some food, drink and great conversation.

Here, exclusively, is the best place to ensure you get pumped, do some pumping or a bit of both on 14 February 2019.

The Square Peg

If there’s another place in this fine city where you can point at almost all the other inhabitants and say, “bet you’re pleased you’re here with me instead of them,” then this is it. It’s the perfect place to cement the fact that you’ll probably not do any better – the most important thing to remember on Valentine’s Day.

Other than looking at the locals you can also treat yourselves to a debate about Brexit. Grab a copy of the Wetherspoon’s News magazine and discuss a few of the stupid fucking things in it.

Make things more exciting by perhaps asking the staff about their amazing worker’s rights.

For even more of a thrill, play Brexit Bingo and ask some of the locals you were staring at earlier for their thoughts – the first one of you to hear how brilliant World War II was gets a free drink.

Romance means Romance.

Pumping means Pumping.

Just get on with it.

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