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A weekend in Nottingham

“Where would you like to go for your birthday, dearest?” My wife asked. “Oooh, ideally a university town.” “Which?” “One where most the tossers I attended school with went.” “I’m not sure there are any good restaurants in Loughborough.” “No, Nottingham you fool!” Is there any better way to celebrate turning 34 than by going […]

Florence

If upon hearing I’ve returned from three nights in Florence you were to ask me: “How many paintings of the Baby Jesus did you gawp at?” Or: “How many marbled penises did you fondle?” I’d be forced to shout, “NONE,” at you. I’d then explain that instead of queuing up to stumble, chin-strokingly, around art […]

Salsa Verde

Sauce, you love a sauce don’t you? Yum yum, sauce. “Excuse me waiter, could I have some more sauce?” You ask embarrassingly in a restaurant. “Please, just a drop more sauce, I love sauce you see. Don’t I love sauce, darling? Go on, tell him,” you plead. “Yes, he really does like sauce.” BUT, what […]

Where to spend Valentine’s Day in Birmingham

Any romantic worth their weight in jizz knows that Birmingham is one of the most romantic cities in the world. Don’t believe me? Then read this: Birmingham Is The Most Romantic City In The World And People Are There For It. Why is it so romantic? Well, not a lot of people know – but […]

Atrium at University College Birmingham

When I heard there was a restaurant run by UCB students studying chef, food service and hospitality courses I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to inspire the next generation of the food world. On arrival, we sat in the lounge area and an adorable young man told us about the cocktails of the day. […]

Tattu – Birmingham

“Any chance I can have a female waiter?” “I’m afraid you’ve got me,” the male waiter replied. “You really need to be female.” “Why?” “For the purpose of a blog. I’m a very famous food blogger and I want to do a gag about ‘all the things she said’ in my review of this place.” […]

Bistrot Pierre

“Bonjour, est Peter dans la maison?” “Sorry?” “Wae’aye! Is Pierre in the house, like?” That’s just a short snippet of a conversation that dragged on for over 45 minutes. Eventually, it became clear that Peter was not in the house. It was at this point too late to find anywhere else to eat, so we […]