Ferdie’s Food Lab – Supper Club

The Foodie Boys have tired of the restaurant scene of late.

“A table for two please.”

“Do you have a reservation?”


That sort of thing. Boring.

No! Calm down! Be still your beating dicks/fannys. That doesn’t mean our days of blogging about food are over!

No, we’re branching out down some exciting new avenues – or streets as we say in Britain.

We can often be found wandering down British streets to see if we can find something satisfying to fill our stomachs. Fortunately London is full of people hanging about down streets who are happy to oblige.

One such street was ‘Ethalburga Street’ in Battersea.

“Ethalburga street – Ethal Burger street. A burger made by a woman called Ethal. All women called Ethal are at least 80, would you eat a burger made by an 80 year old? I think it’s too risky to eat anything cooked by anyone over the age of 60.”

This was just a snippet of the conversation we had as we walked down Ethalburga street and towards the London Cooking Project which was hosting Ferdie’s Food Lab.

To sum up, we’d been invited to a supper club. The only supper club we’d ever been to before was in Battersea. Do supper clubs only exist in Battersea? We don’t know, but we were delighted to accept the kind offer of our host Simon.

Ferdie's Food Lab Menu

Menu (taken with an Android)

We’d been sent a list of wine pairings for each course before we attended, meaning we could raid the local Asda for Rollbacks. Our wine strategy consisted of one bubbles, one white and one red.

We were bemused to be asked to leave Asda for refusing to stop singing Take That’s ‘Shine’. It was only after we left that we realised that advertising campaign was for Morrisons. A full apology has been sent to Asda head office.

On arrival we met our fellow diners over a glass of prosecco, which was a nice bonus. ‘Met’ here = Tony asking all of them whether they had an iPhone 6 charger. With every person he asked, the haunting realisation dawned on him; we would have to use my Android phone camera to photograph the supper.


Lamb rib (not taken with an Android)

To begin Simon presented us with slow cooked lamb rib in a croquette style thing, dip and garlic Afghan bread – just like grandma used to make. If your grandma was Afghanistani, which fortunately neither of ours are/were (some of them are dead).

The cubes of meat were delightful, and would have probably gone down really well with the suggested wine pairing of Pinot Noir. However, we were busy getting as much prosecco as possible in our thirsty, horrible faces.


Purple salmon

After this out came the purple salmon, beetroot and horseradish parfait.

“This will go nicely with the prosecco,” Tony remarked.

“I’m not eating purple fish.” Toby responded.

Next, a green bomb appeared. We don’t entirely know what this was, but it was nice and the spicy cucumber salad that came with it was a healthy kick in the balls.



The highlight of the dinner was the veal. Which if we had a way with words we would describe here, but believe me, it was very nice.

The chocolate cherry dessert had somewhat fallen apart, and frankly the appearance may have put some people off, but they would have been wrong. It was great.


Cherry tart

Foodie Friendship Boys

Of course, a supper club is FAR from all about the food. It’s a social occasion. We were relieved to be placed near another food blogger. Ordinary people just don’t understand how important what we do is.

Flo, one half of Flo & Elle (we can’t comment on the mysterious absence of Elle) came to the rescue, when she offered to send us her photos of the night. This means, aside from the menu picture, we didn’t have to use Toby’s Android phone.

The conversation with Flo flowed, perhaps where she got her name. We discovered a lot about her, much of which we cannot publish here for fear of repercussions.

What we can publish here is our wine battle. How did our wine choices fare against hers? Bafflingly, she hadn’t gone to Asda.

Our Riesling (name of which we can’t remember) scored a rather respectable 3.6 out of five on Vivino. Poor Flo’s only got a 3.4.

“You can’t trust these shit apps,” she shrieked as she smashed the bottle against the table and lunged at Toby’s neck. Jerking backwards, Toby dodged out the way.

“It’s all kicking off!” we shouted at Simon.

“Erm, this is supper club, not fight club,” Simon roared as he took Tony out with a roundhouse kick.

We all took to our seats again, made our apologies and ate some nuts coated in chocolate and finished our last bottle of wine, which scored a pathetic 2.2.

Thanks to Simon who was a thoroughly welcoming host and chose some fantastic food and wine pairings.

Four boys out of five.



FoodieBoys food tour of Kent #LongRead

“There are only so many London restaurants, we don’t want to run out before our domain registration, www.foodieboys.com, expires.” Tony sighed.

“Too true, perhaps we should go and review some places in Kent. After all, Kent is much like London. They have similar accents, for example.”

“I was thinking the exact same thing.”

And so it was we took the evening train heading East, towards a little place they call Birchington Vale Caravan park.


To get there we alighted the train, with all our personal belongings, at Westgate-on-Sea.

“Okay Google” shouted Toby at his Android phone, “Westgate-on-Sea foodie locations.”

Next thing you know, we’re standing outside Paul’s, which came complete with a 4.2 Google rating from five reviews. We entered and immediately noticed the delightful outside area.

“It reminds me of a Spanish garden,” Tony mused.

“I knew a girl who had her bum hole licked in a Spanish garden,” Toby shouted slightly too loudly as we pulled the door open.

After explaining ourselves we were granted permission to stay.

“Hi, we’re the FoodieBoys and we’d like to try some of your local, seasonal fare,” we said in unison.

“We’ve got burgers,” the barmaid said.

“That is SO London.We’ll have two.”

“How would you like them cooked?”

“Medium-rare please, we’re foodies from London.”

The burgers arrived, topped with blue cheese and bacon. They were perfectly pleasant, although neither of them were medium-rare. Perhaps to be expected in the sticks.


Not a medium-rare burger.

After devouring our medium-well burgers we asked at the bar for a cab to take us to the caravan park.

“Call for carriages!” Tony shrieked.

“Sorry?” the barmaid responded.

“We need a taxi to take us to the caravan park.”


And so the taxi driver came, hunched over, into the bar. “TAXI FOR THE FOODIE BOYS!” He was quite the character and even asked if he could work with us on our website. We of course declined.

The Birchington Vale Caravan park came fully equipped with a bar, full to the brim of drunken men and children high on litres and litres of slush puppy.

We perused the menu to see what sort of culinary delights we might enjoy.

Chicago Town pizza or Chicago Town pizza were the options. Washed down with slush puppy.

“We’re going to need that freak taxi driver again,” Toby said with delight.


Sure enough Saturday arrived, how predictable.

During the day we ate Hula Hoops, biscuits and Feast ice creams acquired from the shop, as well as some exquisite flapjacks.

When evening arrived we headed to the bustling, seaside town of Margate – FoodieBuoys more like!!

After a pleasant hour chatting to locals on the seafront, we decided we needed to book a table at a local bistro.

“OKAY GOOGLE,” bellowed Toby, much to the bewilderment of the locals.

But before he could complete the sentence, Tony chimed in, “what about this place?”

The website’s mobile site confusingly hid the menu from us so we decided it must be exclusive. We used our influence on Twitter to acquire a table at Giorgios – an Italian/ Greek / Mediterranean restaurant depending on which site you read.

Walking in, we found that a huge stag party had also found their way into the place, but we recognised the commercial imperative that large venues have to get as many people in as possible to make their restaurant economically viable. Plus, we were hungry and didn’t know anywhere else to go. So we snapped up our table.

Cocktails! Personally, we can’t have a meal without having at least one before. That’s because we’re London foodies, you may feel differently. We ordered espresso martinis but received one more than we asked for*! Whether this was a genuine mistake, or an attempt to butter up #FoodInfluencers we can’t be sure.
(*Full disclosure – we did not request this but these “mistakes” are a perk of the job.)

We ordered our food.

Starters: Tone opted for scallops with bacon and asparagus, while Tobes went for a mozzarella and tomato salad.

“It freaks my nut every time I piss after asparagus,” Tony told the owner.

Mains: Sea Bass with lemon and white wine jus and a ‘Grigliata Mista’ – steak, chicken, sausage, aubergine and chips.

“I can see why you call it a Mista!” Toby said to the waitress as it was placed before him.

“Sorry?” she replied.

“I can see why you call it a Mista!”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“You wouldn’t called it a Missus, would you?”

“Erm, no. Can I get you any more drinks?”

“Because it’s too big for a woman isn’t it? Really. Unless she had a particularly large appetite, which is fine, I actually like women who eat more than me. Have you ever been in a Spanish garden?”

“JUST some tap water please!” Tony interrupted.

The food was fine. Look at the pictures and taste it for yourself. Do we really have to explain everything to you?

Although we were stuffed, we thought we’d order dessert. Chocolate fudge cake and a chocolate fondant.

Sadly, when thrusting my spoon through the fondant it did not deliver a gooey ending. If this had happened in London I would have demanded to see the chef, but I presumed the ovens in Kent may not work as effectively, so let them off.


Solid fondant


Another day of eating like four year old children left to their own devices for the first time at the caravan park left us hungry for more of Kent’s foodie scene.

So, obviously we went to Broadstairs.

We were busy debating our favourite type of sausage in the back of the taxi when the driver began to talk.

“Charles Dickens used to live here you know.”

“I think the Lincolnshire is better than the Cumberland and you’re never going to be able to persuade me otherwise.” Tony declared.

“Charles Dickens used to eat sausages here.” Said the driver, desperately.

“Bollocks.” Toby said, we threw a tenner at him and jumped out. He shouted, “THIS HAS GOT CHARLES DICKENS ON IT” as he drove away.

We walked around the corner and BAM! The Charles Dickens pub.

“He was right!”

What does Sunday say to you? To some it would say “church,” others would say “The Observer,” but to Tobes it would say “Roast.”

So he ordered the lamb roast but Tony went for the fish and chips, as he’d spent the day looking at the sea and wondering if fish eat potatoes.

We had a top seat, right next to the kitchen. An exclusive spot! We saw our food being plated up which was a real treat.

“HEY! What are you doing to his fish?” Toby yelled.

“I’m just checking its temperature,” the chef said as he removed the metal thermometer from the cod.

“Bit late for that, mate, it’s already dead!” Tony quipped, but sadly they’d disappeared around the back of the kitchen so they couldn’t hear it.


Fish with lemon in a little bag, “the best invention I’ve ever seen,” – Toby.


Time to go home.

We bid farewell to the oddballs at the caravan park ( including the topless man shouting “this is the life eh mate?” as he drove past on a sit on mower) and headed back to Westgate-on-Sea. With an hour to kill before our train we spotted an opportunity for one last foodie adventure.

We approached the man working at the train station.

“Hello, do you know anywhere we can get a coffee?”

“I’m not from here,” he barked at us.

“Oh, so you don’t know anywhere that sells coffee near the station where you work?”


With this horrid interaction ringing in our ears we disconsolately trundled up the street. Fortunately, about 200 metres from the station were three cafes.

“Perhaps he’s blind?” Toby tried to justify the station master’s actions.

“He wasn’t blind! He was just a massive twat.” Tony shouted as we flung the door to the Beano cafe open.

“I’ll have the breakfast special and a flat white please.”

“A flat what?”


“Make it two coca cola, a special breakfast and a sausage and chips please, buddy?” Toby interrupted, bored of this second difficult interaction of the day.

“Look at that plastic washing-up bowl full of bacon,” Tony said, for there was one.


Mmm special

We speculated as to why the cafe was called the Beano cafe, and settled on the fact there must have been a character who made shit breakfasts, maybe one of the minor ones in the middle you didn’t read. Like Beryl the Peril.

Kent’s food scene clearly wasn’t prepared for us and we’ve come to the conclusion that London is better than Kent.

Kent gets two boys out of five.




Review: Henry VIII (Hever)

To celebrate the day of birth of my lady friend, I decided to take her to a castle. I chose Hever Castle – the childhood home of Anne Boleyn. If the childhood home of a woman executed by her husband doesn’t scream: “ROMANCE!” I don’t know what does.

We enjoyed a picnic in the grounds during the day, this included: bread, pâté and of course, Quavers – Quavers being Thomas Cromwell’s favourite snack.

Thomas Cromwell enjoying some Quavers

Thomas Cromwell enjoying some Quavers

After enjoying the grounds and the spacious room we had acquired for the evening we headed off for dinner at the Henry VIII pub a short walk down the road.

Thomas Wolsey enjoying a cold can of Oranjeboom.

Thomas Wolsey enjoying a cold can of Oranjeboom.

We ordered a bottle of wine and of course a pint of Oranjeboom – Oranjeboom being Thomas Wolsey’s favourite lager.

We perused the menu for a short while before I had a brainwave.

What struck me was a missed opportunity to use the name’s of Henry’s wives to create dishes.

I came up with one immediately and called for the waitress to come quickly.

“Is there anything I can help you with, sir?” She enquired.

“Catherine of Tarragon!” I shouted at her.


“Catherine of Tarragon! You should have a chicken and tarragon pie on the menu called ‘the Catherine of Tarragon pie’.”

“Oh, I see. I’ll pass that on to the manager.”

“No! Wait, there are five more! Fetch a pen and paper or something.”

Now, in my haste I hadn’t thought about the others. When she returned I rather meekly muttered, “Anne of…Cloves – perhaps a pork dish with cloves.”

As not to hurt my feelings she wrote this down and asked if we were ready to order. I went for the garlic king prawns and the lamb’s liver from the specials board.


I very deliberately ordered the king prawns as I had a plan to humour my wench.

I held the first prawn aloft and bellowed: “YOU HAVE FAILED TO GIVE ME A SON! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” as I pulled its head off.


I enjoyed this all so much that I actually can hardly remember eating the lamb’s liver. Although I’m sure it was excellent.

As I paid the bill I found myself struck once again by inspiration: “Katherine Parr-ma ham!”

I look forward to returning and seeing the new menu in all its glory.

FoodieBoys_review_fullFoodieBoys_review_fullFoodieBoys_review_fullFoodieBoys_review_full Four boys out of five.

Review: Rockfish (Dartmouth)

To celebrate Easter 2016 I decided to take a trip to Devon, as Jesus might have done had he been born in Birmingham rather than Bethlehem.

On the Friday I decided to celebrate the death of the big JC by eating his favourite meal – fish, chips and curry sauce.

I settled on the Dartmouth branch of seafood chain Rockfish.

I took my seat and the waiter began to circle the fish they had available on the placemat in front of me.

“WHOA! I shouted. “Don’t write on the placemat!”

“It’s paper, sir.”

“My mistake. Please continue.”

He circled the gurnard, whiting and hake.

I grabbed the felt tip pen from him and wrote, ‘WWJH?’.

He looked at me, confused. I wrote it again, this time slightly bigger. I wrote it a third time – yet still he didn’t grasp what was happening.

“What would Jesus have?”

“Oh, I’m not sure. Perhaps the Whiting?”

“No! He’d have had the Gurnard, obviously. He would also have had a bottle of cider and some curry sauce.”

“I see, and what can I get you?”

‘WJWHH!’ I scrawled on the last remaining bit of space on the mat.

“What…Jesus…would…have…had?” The waiter nervously uttered.


Fish and chips

Fish and chips

My cider was crisp and refreshing – just as Jesus would have liked.

The chips were chippy, and were ‘eat as many as you like’, so I ordered a second portion as Jesus would have wanted me to be obese.

The fish was very good. I’ve often heard people say, “Oooh, what a meaty fish,” and I’ve often thought, “what a load of bollocks.” However, I can confirm that this Gurnard was a meaty fish.

All in all, I felt full and a littler closer to our Lord and Saviour.

Four boys out of five.


Review: The Grey Horse (BBQ Whisky Beer)

Back in 2013, yeah, remember then? The Lib Dems still existed, King Richard III’s skeleton was discovered under a Leicester car park and BBQ Whisky Beer won Ribstock.

I was at Ribstock on that day – where 10 different types of rib competed for the crown of ‘best rib’.

I tried the BBQ Whisky Beer entry first. After eating it I turned to Toby and said, “Tobes, we might as well go home now, that’s the winner.”

Toby looked disappointed and began walking towards the exit, before I explained that the whole “going home thing” was mere hyperbole and we shouldn’t actually go home.

For a short while we had a confusing conversation about what ‘hyperbole’ means until we realised we had to try nine types of rib within an hour.

Anyway, long story long, BBQ Whisky Beer did indeed win.

Small Jacobs Ladder Beef Rib

Small Jacobs Ladder Beef Rib

Then three years on I was on, soon to be extinct, social networking site ‘Twitter ‘ and saw that BBQ Whisky Beer were now in a pub in Kingston.

I gathered my things and jumped on a bus.

“Driver, take me to the ribs!”
“What?” he replied.
“The ribs! The Ribstock winning beef ribs!”
“MOVE THE FUCKING BUS!” Shouted an elderly lady from one of the priority seats.

And with that we were on our way.

Macaroni cheese with parmesan crumb

Macaroni cheese with parmesan crumb

I ordered a large beef rib, Mac and cheese, and some fries.

The Mac and cheese was rich and garlicky, the fries were fryey…and the beef rib was sent to earth by baby Jesus himself.

Who knew cows had ribs? Who knew those ribs had delicious meat on them?

Smothered in a smoky BBQ sauce, and finished so it’s got a delicious, slightly burnt aroma I had to order a second small one.

Jacobs Ladder Beef Rib

Large Jacobs Ladder Beef Rib

I washed this down with an old fashioned – the Grey Horse has an excellent selection of whisky.

Amazing. I haven’t been able to look at a cow the same since.

Five boys out of five.


Interview with ‘Gonzo Foodie’ Adam Layton – @NoshableAdam

Adam_LaytonQuestion 1

Foodie Boys: Shortlist magazine described you as a ‘Gonzo Foodie’.

Adam Layton: They did.

FB: What does that mean?

AL: That I eat like a muppet.

Question 2

FB: If you were to die, what type of food would you want to come back as?

AL: A crusty loaf (laughs hysterically).

Question 3



FB: Have you, hand on heart, ever said nom nom nom?

AL: Yes.

FB: When and why?

AL: A couple of years ago I did a search for myself with those search terms and deleted all of the evidence. But it’ll exist inside me forever. I have previously nom’d, I have a history of nomming.

Question 4

FB: You can only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what is it?

AL: Smoked paprika. Probably from a thimble or something.

Question 5

FB: What’s the most ill you’ve ever been because of food and what caused it?

AL: Probably on holiday in Cyprus. An all you can eat hotel buffet lead to a sorry incident where, I’m not ashamed to say, I soiled myself. I was about fifteen.

FB: Was it down to any particular foodstuff?

AL: Schnitzel.

Question 6

FB: If you were to make a #FoodPorno who would be in it and what type of food would feature?

AD: Woody Harrelson as the male role, he’s on his own and the foodstuff would be a big italian salami.

FB: What would the title of this film be?

AD: I haven’t got wood.

Keep up with all the things Adam is sticking in his mouth at @NoshableAdam on Twitter and Instagram.

If you would like to be interviewed please email us foodieboys@gmail.com

RS Hispaniola – 7 October

Last night I met some friends for a drink near Waterloo as it’s a handy, central location which we can all get home from.

Cucumber Gin and Tonics

Cucumber Gin and Tonics

We met at Topolski, a gallery and bar/cafe named after Feliks Topolski a Polish artist. Feliks would have been licking his whiskers at the prospect of the happy hour! I enjoyed two cucumber gin and tonics and two glasses of house red for just £13!

We contemplated eating there too, but fortunately I managed to persuade the party otherwise. It was all sharing boards of meat and salmon and olives etc. The thing is about ‘sharing’ boards is you don’t really share do you? It’s one big build up to the inevitable moment where you all stare at a piece of salami for 45 minutes desperately trying to convince each other you don’t want it.

One of my co-drinkers proudly exclaimed to be the owner of a Taste card, boasting of 25% off at certain restaurants. He gave me his phone with the app on and said, “hey buddy, if you won’t share cold meats find us somewhere to go.”

And I did!

Steep ramp

Steep ramp

A short walk over a bridge and we were all searching for RS Hispaniola. We didn’t find it for ages. Then it dawned on me…I’d booked for us to eat on a boat. After the name calling had finished we went to have a look. We were confronted with a very steep ramp at the entrance. If you’re planning on taking elderly family members or wheelchair dwellers be sure to have your wits about you.

Once aboard we saw there were only approximately 3 other diners in the place. Unperturbed, we decided to stay and ordered some wine and main courses.

As we were on a vessel I decided I should probably have some fish, I mean, hey, if you’re not going to eat fish when you’re on a boat when are you? The pan fried salmon, pancetta, savoy cabbage, white wine and butter sauce was a lot more enjoyable than I had anticipated. I shared a laugh with the waiting staff when I asked whether the salmon had been caught locally! I think she thought it was funny, or may have just been polite, a good thing either way.

In summary, if you’re looking to eat on a boat with a view of the London Eye you can’t say fairer than the RS Hispaniola.



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Toby’s Lunch: Bagel 7 October 2014

Working as I do in digital, the fellas provide a lot of lunchtime material, including breads and spreads. They certainly know how to get the best out of their workforce, I find myself motivated to work hard everyday.

This lunch I’ve opted for the filled bagel, using fillings bought from the nearby Tesco Metro. Some great deals in there.

The spread of choice in the office is ‘I can’t believe it’s not Butter,’ although I prefer Lurpak myself.

I topped this with Porchetta Ham (Tesco Finest, £2 for 5 slices), Cathedral City cheese slices (reduced fat, £1.50 for 8 slices) and round lettuce (value, 40p).

Excellent value at Tesco

Excellent value at Tesco

Topped with a bit of mayo and mustard, this bagel was a tasty afternoon treat, particularly washed down with a cool Fanta Lemon. Plus, it’ll keep me alert and creative as I must be in my digital media job.

What are you having for lunch?


Beijing spaghetti

Hey, Tony here. I don’t always play by the rules with my cooking and nothing shows this more than my infamous Beijing Spaghetti.

I’ve taken a classic Italian number – spaghetti – and added an interesting Asian twist.

What you’ll need: A frying pan. A spatula. A saucpan. A colander.




Spaghetti (or other pasta but you’ll have to change the name on your menu)
Chilli powder
Hoi Sin sauce


Boil the pasta in a saucepan of boiling water. While that’s happening heat up some oil in a frying pan. Open the bacon and add to the hot oil.  Add some garlic to the bacon and (if you’re feeling brave) some chilli powder.

Once the bacon is cooked put the heat off. Drain the pasta in the colander. Add the bacon to the pasta (Ok, that’s not that crazy). (Here comes the science part) Put two or three tsps (tea spoons – the small ones) of Hoi Sin sauce on and mix the combination together!

Grubs up!

Grubs up!

Put on a plate and grate some parmesan on top (What? Never heard of a Chinese man who enjoys cheese before?!


I enjoyed mine in bed with a glass of Barry McGuigan’s Shiraz.

On The Bab

photo 2 (3)Thursday’s the new Friday.

Thirst day more like. We headed to one of our favourite watering holes, The Old Fountain. Tony took on a couple of wheat beers and Tobes went for a couple of pints of Wreckless, and very nice they were too.

We were pretty peckish after spying the buffet of a group of estate agents on a work night out.  We almost asked for one of their scotch eggs!

After perusing the menu at the pub we decided the fare was a little too pub food for our tastes, so went off in search of something a little more exotic.


We saw a queue and being naturally inquisitive types we went for a closer look. To our surprise we had happened upon a Korean pop-up. We say pop-up in the sense that we hadn’t seen it before, thus it had popped-up.

After a brief stint outside we were taken to our seats. We were delighted to be sat next to a couple who we spoke at length with about Koreans and their culture. Hi if you’re reading this! Sorry you had to leave in such a hurry.

To the food!

We ordered a spicy pork bibimbap, fried chicken, kimchi pancakes and some pork buns. Also plumping for a couple of Hites, a perfectly quaffable Korean lager.

The spicy pork bibimbap (yes, I struggled to pronounce it when I ordered, much to the amusement of the waitress who WAS Korean!) wasn’t as spicy as you’d expect. The egg was also over cooked without the runny yolk. The fried chicken was a success, fried and chickeny with a soy garlic glaze – real SEOUL food!

For those of you unfamiliar with Kimchi it’s a traditional fermented Korean side dish made of vegetables with a variety of seasonings. It is often described as spicy and sour (via wikipedia). This was put in a pancake, or should I say bland cake. They were quite bland. The star of the show were the Pork Buns. Spicy pork meat in fluffy buns. Yum yum!

Nice touches, Rapeseed and dessert

There were a few nice touches around the restaurant such as this little fella on the toilet door. We were also pleased to discover rapeseed oil to be their cooking oil of choice.

 IMG_20141002_211430photo 2 (5)photo 3 (4)

photo 4 (1)Sadly we weren’t offered a look at a dessert menu, a shame as after clocking a Muller Crunch Corner in the fridge our sweet tooths were salivating. The bill came to a total of £38.10 a respectable price for two dishes and a beer each. We might go back or we might not, we’re not sure yet. Below is an exclusive Vine from the night.